Tim's Tourniquet
by Invader BeckyandClad
Summary: Tim feels all alone in his medical room and waits for the day Bruce will visit and take him back home. Guilty Bruce wont see Tim and is left haunted by the memory of his dead son.


Chapter 1

Staring at the white walls in his room the little bird hugged himself, feeling cold and isolated. The room was small, quiet and each day his sanity drained.

Shaking back and forth warm tears trickled down his was he coming? What was taking him so long?

Not one word. Nope not one had escaped Bruce's lips that day. All he did was stand like a cold statue while his little boy cried completely broken in Barbara's arms.

Despite her weekly visits, despite her constant hugs, pats on the head, reassurance that it will be okay Tim had never felt more hurt, broken and alone.

With a sigh he stood up and looked out the window. Another boring rainy day. Perfect.

"_He's never coming you know. You failed him."_ A new jersey accent whispered in the boy's head.

Tim shook that voice away, hand pressed against the cool window, while he agreed with that thought, a bigger part of him just kept saying, "Bruce is busy that's all, he'll be here...he has too." His voice quaked and his bottom lip trembled.

For fourteen days he had waited, patient, hopeful, needing his mentor beside him. Why was Batman so damn distant, didn't he love him? Or was it temporary? Had Tim failed Bruce? Was he mad that he had been the weak Robin. The Robin that couldn't take a little pain. The Robin that blabbed all their precious secrets? What the hell was taking him so long?

Slumping down to the ground, he hugged his knees and whispered, "Soon. I just have to be patient."

"_Patient?" _Scoffed the thought. "_ Forget it pal! You're dead. He couldn't care less about you._

"_**Shut up.." **_Tim grumbled to his annoying thought.

"_No! You know it's true! Why else wouldn't he come? Hm? Why isn't he here?"_

"_**He's just late that's all."**_

"_That excuse is getting old buddy. Face it. It would be better for you to forget him. Like I'm sure he has forgotten you. You're just a replacement. A passing. You knew it from the start. Couple years then tossed aside like the first one. It's over! Time to start a new."_

"_**A new what?"**_

"_A new life of course! Think of all the fun we could have together Timbo."_

"_**Don't call me that!"**_

"_Why?"_

"_**Because...Dick calls me that and he..." **_Tim batted away a tear choking, even Dick had paid no visits. Nope not one. He was too busy in Bludhaven to even check up on his little brother. Though he had overheard Bruce tell Babs that Dick was to never know about that night. Not now not ever. To make matters worst the big jerk called his older brother and yelled, "IT'S YOUR FAULT!" With a bunch of other insults so a visit from Dick was very unlikely.

"_Aww, wipe the tears away."_

"_**Shut up!"**_

"_Why?What did I do?" _The voice asked confused.

"_**You make everything worst."**_

"_Do not!"_ Whined the voice.

Tim decided not to argue with his other half and ignored the annoying voice completely, crossing his arms.

_**"**Don't ignore me Timmy. TIM! TIMMMMM! Hey...look there's Barbara. She's pretty. But I bet ya she'll look prettier with a knife in her back. She'll never see it coming. It will be hilarious. Or or I can tell you how to make smilax ya know? Maybe for old Brucie Goose. He never smiles enough don't ya think? I mean would it kill him to smile?"_

Tim groaned, rubbing his head when would the voice end? Dr. Leslie said it would take a while but if it wasn't soon Tim would lose it.

"Tim," Barbara spoke, a gentleness in her voice. She smiled and hugged him, "Feeling any better?"

The little bird shook his head, hands in pocket he murmured a simple, "Nope."

She frowned and hugged him tighter, petting his hair, "You'll be okay Tim."

"No I wont Babs!" He pulled away from her, glaring. How could she say something so stupid? How would he ever be just okay again? The pain? The horrors? They weren't going to go away no matter how many pills he took. Or how long he ignored the voice, the flashes, the screams, his blood on the insane mans clothing. Everything was so vivid so loud. The gunshot blared in his head, cut into his heart and tore it to pieces. The death of the Joker which should have been a blessing was just the start of another long nightmare.

Tim breathed heavily and rubbed his head, hoping to drive out his murderous companin when a new voice entered his mind and chilled him to the very bone.

"**You killed me Timmy."**

Face paling his heart rate sped up so fast it made him want to puke,

"**My blood is on your hands Timothy but if you thought you could get rid of me so easily." **The thought chuckled and Tim shivered, feeling weak to his knees.

"**Then you don't know Joker. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!"**

Falling to the ground the little boy broke down, tears falling out his baby blue eyes. His fist pounded the floor and his other hand gripped his head he just wanted this to end. He wanted all of it to end. The nightmare the regrets. The no Bruce coming to just simply hug him. Tell him it was okay, he would belive Bruce.

Babs frowned, shocked at the boys reaction she knelt down and hugged him but he just pulled away, rolled over to his bed and grabbed a knife from underneath his pillow. "TIM!" she grabbed his wrist and the broken boy pulled with all his might when that didn't work he slashed her face.

Blinking back tears Tim looked in horror at the blood on his friends cheek. What had he done? He didn't mean too! It was an accident. Crying louder he took the tip of the knife to his throat.

"TIM NO!" Barbara grabbed both his wrist and slammed him to the ground, her heart breaking as he yelped in pain. She just wished she could make all his pain go away that when she hugged him close he would belive her and everything would be better? Why couldn't everything be better?

Tim kicked and struggled to get out of her grasp but he was far too weak and brittle so he gave up and cried, curling into a ball. How could he hurt Barbara? The one person who cared enough to visit him, coax him, give him support and love?

The ex Batgirl scooped up the sad bird and kept him close to her, "Shh.." she whispered, petting his hair, "Now Tim let me tell you the good news."

He sucked up the tears and stared up at her, blue eyes widen with curiosity and a newfound hope. "Bruce?"

She shook her head, "No, someone better.."

Tim tilted his head, confused.

Babs chuckled, "I wont mention anything to him but I'm sure he'll be might suspicious when he sees you..." she eyed his confused expression, "What can't you figure it out Tim?" She sighed a smile on her face, "Dick's coming home tomorrow."

The little boy stared up at her, eyes ready to explode, for the first time in weeks a genuine smile crossed his lips. Dick knew Bruce was a big jerk but maybe he could convince that big lug to come and visit. If not well he was more fun than that cold old rule book anyway.

Barbara smiled at his reaction, "So that means no more suicide missions for you."

Tim gave her his big cocky grin and she hugged him tightly that was the Tim she was used too. The Tim that needed to return. He was just a boy but with proper care, love and tenderness. All the broken pieces might just come back together. They had too. With a kiss on his forehead, she whispered softly in his ear, "We love you Tim. Please don't forget that."

Tim sighed, leaning against her chest, "I wont." His eyes closed and his heart beat slowed down, the fight had worn him out. He wouldn't sleep though, sleep was bad but a rest was just fine for the ex boy wonder.

Smiling Babs held his hand and gave it a tender squeeze, he nuzzled closer to her enjoying the safety that radiated from off her and said he was safe. For now anyway. Things were going to get better because Dick was coming home tomorrow and Tim knew, could feel it in his heart that nothing else was going to go wrong. Not anymore.

...

"To the left Alfred."

"Yes, Master Bruce," The butler grunted, moving the memorial case into the storage unit.

"There. No more memories. I just want to forget all about Robins."

"Whatever you say Master Bruce." "_Well you're just full of hogwash Master Bruce."_

With a sigh Bruce slumped on his chair and faced the bat computer as the same voice pierced in is head, words as clear as the first day that they had been uttered. _**"Why on Gods Earth is he still alive?! Ignoring what he's done in the past. The thousands who have suffered! **_How could he have failed a second time? How was it possible? Maybe he should change his name to Late Man? More appropriate.

Grumbling he typed in deceased for Harley and shook his head, stupid girl, so close to being saved but... His fist clenched, that vixen fooled him with her innocent sweet acts from the past. She was no better than the Joker. What kind of person sits idly by while letting someone torture an innocence child_? _All that pain_. _His _Robin. His fault_. Those images of the screams, the pain in his little boys face, the sweat, tears. Tears as he cried in Batgirls arm. The perfect place for him to be. Bruce didn't deserve to hug him and so he wouldn't ever again. It was over.

It was over..

IB: I shouldn't be posting this I suck so badly at updates. Well I hope you enjoyed, please review.


End file.
